Get off my virtual back!

I had lunch today with some girlfriends that I went to high school with. It was really great, one of those experiences where it feels as if very little time has passed, despite the years and years worth of catching up that was done. It's the camaraderie, that instant connection that you feel with a good friend who knows you well and vice versa.

Talk turned to Facebook, as it often does these days, with all parties agreeing that catching up with old friends is one of the best parts of the social network. Sometimes, though, we agreed that catching up with old friends on Facebook can be a real pain in the tookus!

Turns out two of us share a mutual friend, who feels it her civic duty to correct our online behavior and any perceived social faux pas committed on Facebook.

This would be fine if it was an occasional occurrence, but it seems to happen every time one of us expresses a passionate opinion or treads anywhere near a subject that is traditionally considered off limits, like religion or politics. Again, it would still be fine if our friend expressed herself and left it at that, but what typically happens is a non-stop barrage of posts or personal messages until the original Status entry is deleted - in a last ditch effort to make the pestering stop.

In truth, what often feels like bullying has frequently led me to consider cancelling my Facebook account, though truly, the fault is mine. I am the one succumbing to the onslaught of criticism and choosing to delete my apparently questionable posts.

I suppose my friend feels she is looking out for my best interests, though I am hardly a child. It reminds me of one of my aunts, who upon receiving a cheery email message, has been known to send it back with grammatical errors noted in red. I imagine she feels she is also doing a good turn. I honestly wouldn't know. I quit writing to her the second time she did it to me.

I think the reason it bothers me so much, in addition to the obvious, is that Facebook offers a simple remedy that doesn't involve chastising anyone. It's called the Hide button. If you are offended or put off in any way by someone's posts, you can hide them from your Newsfeed and Status Updates. You still have the freedom to go to that person's page by choice, instead of having all their posts automatically assault your eyes each time you log on.

I imagine another choice is simply to "unfriend" us. Seriously. If you are annoyed, offended, or traumatized in any way by my posts, which are usually just a reflection of what's on my mind, then perhaps we no longer have in common all that we once did.

One of my personal traits, which I've always thought was a pretty good one, is that I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. I may not always agree with yours, you may not always agree with mine, sometimes we will have to agree to disagree. However, I can promise you that if you post something on Facebook that I don't like or agree with, I won't badger you until you delete it or go mad.

The camaraderie at lunch today was wonderful, as being with people who know you well always is. People who know that you are outspoken, opinionated, and often more than just a little blunt. At least, I assume they all knew that, after all, we sat at that table for four long, delightful hours and no one berated any one, not even once.

True friendship. Being accepted for exactly who you are... there's nothing else like it, but, of course, that's just my opinion.